Before I continue on with the rest, I'd like to re-iterate what many people say when they hear about domestic violence cases..."Why didn't they just leave?" I can't tell you how ignorant of a statement that is. Anyone asking that question obviously has never been in a situation like that or had someone they loved, in one.
I'd like to clarify that while this was going on, "S" was trying very much to get help. As I said, there was a social worker living below us at the apartment, who had heard the violence herself but did nothing. "S" was attending church and went to the pastor to explain our situation. She was treated as if her story was an exaggeration or hysteria and told to go home. Be a better wife. Yes, this happens. It's bullshit.
She took his shotgun (which numerous times he had pointed at her, threatening to kill her, myself and my family) down to the police department and spoke directly to the chief of police (keep in mind, he was an officers son). The police department kept "K's" shotgun, then gave it back to him, when he was called in for a slap on the wrist. He then proceeded to go to her place of employment and threaten to kill her.
It's dangerous when you "just leave". You have to have a plan. You can die. Pretty soon, we'd have a plan. It all happened by accident, when I took a trip to California, with my mother.
Having worked with Battered Women's Shelter in VT, I can attest to this. On average a victim of DA will try to leave and will come back seven or more times. If "just leaving" was that simple, wouldn't they? Duh!
ReplyDeleteYet another thing we have in common! I too worked as an advocate at a battered women's shelter, as well as a volunteer at a rape crisis center. I was only 22 years old and hadn't dealt too much with everything I had been through. After about 6 months, it became too painful to do on an everyday basis. It was so depressing to deal with, knowing there was only so much I could do to help (especially when it came to the children). I knew I couldn't continue, at that time.
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