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Erin Grace

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Fast Forward

Recently, I received a phone call from my sister, who has been helping my mother sort through her belongings. I was told that in our mother's room, she had found unopened letters I had written to "K" and there were also letters that "K" had written to my sister. The letters were from before my sister found mine in the mailbox that day. When my sister asked her, my mother says she has no idea why they were in with her things. She has always been one to not face things or take responsibility for her actions but seeing as she's elderly now, she may genuinely not remember. Somehow though, I have the feeling that even if she was 20 years younger, her answer would still be the same. My mom is legendary for the phrase, "Hmmm? I don't know." I do not understand why she would have intercepted those letters and not confronted me or said something to someone?! Someone could have stopped me from communicating with him; saved me from myself.

She may not be able to empathize at all or communicate in an adult manner about things of a personal and sensitive nature but when it comes to being threatening, that, she could do. For some reason, she could defend us when someone else was clearly in the wrong, as long as it concerned things of a physical nature, like a bully hitting us. Bottom line, she'd threaten you if you laid a finger on her kids. She could scare the hell out of any kid and we have a few funny stories from the bullies themselves. As a kid, I began to do the same thing as my mother to anyone who made fun of me, as long as I thought I could handle them. After scaring one girl so badly that she broke out in hives and her mother told me that she had to go to the hospital, I decided I'd rather not handle things that way.

My sister and I still see members of "K's" family every once in a while, in fact there were a few times that she met with his sister not so long ago...we were both close with her, so I'm sure that was tough for the both of them.

I've seen his brothers a few times over the years.  In fact, my ex up north had a best friend whose sister married one of "K's" brothers. We went to the best friend's wedding, which meant that I would run into members of "K's" family. At the church, I spoke with his parents who were very polite. The scariest thing was that just as I walked away from them in the church, "K's" mother fell to the floor and had a grand mal seizure. An ambulance was called and I later found out that she had a brain tumor. I believe she was able to have surgery and recover. I couldn't help but initially think that talking to me upset her too much because of all that had happened.

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